February 2012
30 posts
Anonymous asked: you must get this alot, but you are very thin, and so beautiful, you don't need to loose anymore weight, you are already stunning.
Anonymous asked: Beautiful girl, I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I really do, you deserve to smile and be happy, even for just a single day, Yours Truly, T.
Anonymous asked: does your stomach hurt when you binge?
wouldbe-killer asked: Happy birthday!
Happy birthday to me. I have escaped from that place for a few hours(I hope).
Anonymous asked: why have you been sectioned? how long have you had an ED for?
Anonymous asked: To my favourite tumblr in the whole wide world, I'm back. We met a few months back, remember me? T? I hope so. I remember you and you never left my mind. I missed talking to you and I hope you're okay beautiful. Don't ever forget about me, please. Yours Truly, T.
Anonymous asked: how are you doing? have you gained any weight or are you doing any better?take care of yourself!
More and More
More and more frequently the edges of me dissolve and I become a wish to assimilate the world, including you, if possible through the skin like a cool plant’s tricks with oxygen and live by a harmless green burning. I would not consume you or ever finish, you would still be there surrounding me, complete as the air. Unfortunately I don’t have leaves. Instead I have eyes and teeth and...
the-anorexic-mind-deactivated20 asked: Hey, I'm new to your blog but I love it. I was wondering if you were anorexic or bulimic? Or somewhere in between? You seem awesome and I hope you get better <3
Anonymous asked: Can I ask you an honest question? Does it hurt being so thin? I'm not trying to 'make a funny' or anything I want to honestly know. My mother's anorexia was at it's worst when she was 15-16 and she was in the 80's at 5'4 and she said anytime she'd bump something she'd be in so much pain and she bruised very easily, she said she had a bruise along her...
Anonymous asked: What exactly does that letter mean?
Anonymous asked: i think your name is so pretty c:
Anonymous asked: Have you got a lawyer for the hearing?
forgettingfalling asked: Is a compulsory treatment order in NZ like being sectioned by the mental health act in Australia? What does it involve exactly? What, in the course of your current treatment, indicated this as the thing to do by your therapists/doctors? Sorry for all the Q's. But I think I can totally relate. Did you still have the password blog? I was too shy to ask before xox
andthe replied to your post: andthe replied to your photo your name is…
how do you pronounce it? I read it as “mel-ay-na”
It’s pronounced “melly-ana” with the first a of ana like the a in father. Actually that’s not quite how it’s supposed to be pronounced but that’s how I say it.
andthe replied to your photo
your name is meleana?
Yes it is, Mele’ana technically
Anonymous asked: sometimes i see bulimia as a delightful slow suicide and then i don't want to recover
Anonymous asked: (cont) your life could be so much more than this if you could have the strength to let go of your ED. It's not made you happy has it? Maybe it's made you feel safe or secure and maybe I'm wrong here but I'm pretty sure it's never made you happy. I relate a lot to you, I'm bulimic and anorexic too and have been in and out of treatment, lost my friends, family,...
Anonymous asked: I'm a hypocrite for saying this but you need to consider letting your eating disorder go. I know you've lost a lot - no money, a family that's given up on you, being 26 and in a hospital under section, but it's the eating disorder that's taken all those things away from you. It's hard to believe but you can have all those things back, and more. You can start again and...
The Impenetrable Forest
The person you have in mind is lost. That’s the picture I’m getting. He believes he is lost in the middle of an impenetrable forest. His head is full of trees. Branches he’s bumping into. Brambles he’s tangled up in. Paths that lead nowhere. Animals that jeer at him and run away. Here and there the glimpse of an elusive maiden, wearing a dress of what appears to be white cheesecloth. I’m getting...
January 2012
33 posts
Today when I was running away and hiding behind the bus shelter so that staff wouldn’t see me it really hit me how I’m nearly 26 and living in a mental hospital under section. I have no money, my family have pretty much given up on me, and the only comfort I have is my eating disorder.
Why should I give that up?
Anonymous asked: I. ADORE. YOU. Stay strong and beautiful. <3 :)
Anonymous asked: I was just wondering, what is the mental health act?
Mental health act was reviewed today, I’m still under it for the next up to two weeks I think. My psychiatrist gets back next week and I have to wait till then for my referrer in Auckland to be contacted and(if that happens) find out what will happen from there.
And we’re back to everyone accusing me of stealing their fucking food. Fact is I wouldn’t touch anything with anyone’s name on it and haven’t eaten Ashburn food for weeks so if anything THEY have been eating my share.
I hate to do this but I’m in desperate need of financial help. There’s a paypal button on my blog and anything( and I mean anything, even a dollar or two) you can spare would make a huge difference. In order to leave without running away, I need to be able to convince them I can realistically look after myself and my current situation is I have an overdraft and no support from family. If staff...
Anonymous asked: maybe this is being rude of me or something, but even looking past your ED i think you're absolutely lovely and i have a total crush on you. that probably doesn't help any, but yeah.
daintywaists said: hows about we arrange a deal. You make me something awesome and I pay an extremely inflated price for it <3
Sure:) <3
Anonymous asked: It sounds as though things are just getting worse and worse for you down there. Or maybe that just how Im reading it. I know its HARD emotionally and physically, but maybe if you got to a better weight, not normal or anything yet-but enough so you could be moved back up to Aucland? How long have you been sectioned fpr?
I hate to do this but I’m in desperate need of financial help. There’s a paypal button on my blog and anything( and I mean anything, even a dollar or two) you can spare would make a huge difference. In order to leave without running away, I need to be able to convince them I can realistically look after myself and my current situation is I have an overdraft and no support from family....
They want to take my wallet and passport from me. I’ve hidden the wallet and contents in different places around my room and I will fight them physically if I have to. I hate them all.
intelligenceisborn asked: Why did they section you?
Under the mental health act, as of an hour or so ago.
If I have to stay here any longer I’m going to end up trying to kill myself because even if it doesn’t work it’ll get me away from this place.